Toxic Masculinity is not just a male issue.
Toxic Masculinity is just as rampant in women as it is in men.
It’s Toxic Masculinity that has no time for the tears of men, boys, children or colleagues- its the message that says suck it up and keep on keeping on.
It’s Toxic Masculinity that sees women coping alone and men going back to work after childbirth as the norm and the way it should be.
Its Toxic Masculinity that labels the women asking for help as ‘not coping’ and ‘not a natural’ and the men that do help out around the house or with the kids as “whipped”
It’s Toxic Masculinity that perpetuates rape culture. It’s the women telling other women and girls they need to cover up, that their clothing is a distraction, that their clothing is inappropriate or asking for trouble.
It’s Toxic Masculinity that asks what were they thinking being alone or what were they wearing at the time when women are raped and murdered. It’s not just men making these statements.
It’s Toxic Masculinity that forces women and men alike into addictions that distract themselves from their feelings or their fears of unworthiness.
It’s Toxic Masculinity that allows no freedom for others to make their own decisions in matters such as parenting, health care, education and career.
It’s Toxic Masculinity that sees masculinity as mens business and femininity as womens business and fails to nature a balance between the two in both sexes.
So many of us are toxically masculine.
Our culture is toxically masculine – we celebrate toughness, independence, achieving and aggression above all else. The feminine is weak and nurturing and incapable of success and any boy or girl seen to be overly feminine is socially shamed.
This is not about men vs women.
This is about us as individuals and a society waking the fuck up and seeing that we are all the problem.
Any time we value masculinity over femininity or femininity over masculinity we are the problem.
We don’t get to be pigs just because we are women.
We don’t get to degrade other women.
We don’t get to judge and pressure and bully other women into conformity
We don’t get to sexualise, beat, bully or ridicule our men when they aren’t ‘capable’ or aren’t ‘tough enough’
We don’t get to toughen up our children so they survive the world- they are the answer to the new world.
Women- we have a responsibility here too.
A big one!
We need to learn to love our feminine side, we need to learn to nurture the feminine side in our men and make it celebrated for them to be nurturers, we need to show our children that they are worthy just be existing not by what they can contribute and produce.
You want a better world?
You want toxic masculinity to die?
It starts with you!